Moonlit Sunshine

To run ashore, to humplydump, to dance to the tunes of life.. That’s what Life has always been, to me, to you, to all of us! When my good friend scored a 67 in his first ever mock-BILLIE and tried to be silly modestachio about it, I told him “Dude, Bask in the glory.. Sip some wine.. Do the Chandler Dance!” Sad it was just an SMS (I’d have preferred showing him the Chandler Dance.) He said, “Itna Kya?”

To begin with, I hate “Itna Kya” people. There’s more to life than Itna Kya. Every second is bliss, so to say. I find it wonderful that there are such amazing people all around me.. Some to make fun of, some to be envious of, (In my case, I envy all girls with Katrina Kaif-ish hair!), some to bitch about, some to look up to, some to look down upon, some to fall for (Oops, sorry.. That should be ONE to fall for :P), some to hate, some who look like punching bags, some who fall prey to your tickling charisma, some whom you want to care for but can’t, some who care for you though you don’t want them to, some who love gossiping only about you (That’s a sign of envy, again.), some who hog food like it’s oxygen,….. There’s always something good that occurs in life when you least expect it. If a dog gave you a miraculous smile and a whoof-whoof to spice it up just after you walked out of the exam hall wondering whether life is just about Pass or Fail, then name the Doggie “Pappu” and own it for the rest of your life so you can boast about it to your buddies!

I hate “C’est la Vie!” people as much as “Itna Kyas”. It’s like they’ve hit against a boulder and died. Then, they have woken up to preach about how much bigger the boulder can get. It’s easy to not go near the boulder at all, instead of fretting about its enormity! I look at life like it’s a piece of cake (not in the figurative sense of the phrase). I eat one bit at a time and never gulp it till my taste-buds are the happiest in the world!

I’m worried about just one thing in life. I have put a lot of people at task to wonder about a mystery about me. It’s a matter of concern for people all around me about something that’s rather peculiar and spooky about me. They have spent their lives poring over one aspect of my life and are still wondering whether it is mere coincidence or whether there is more to it than that. They have consulted a hundred numerologists and a lot of Supernatural forces-oriented gurus to try and put an end to the mystery, all in vain. I myself am wondering whether it is mere coincidence that my initials happen to be PJ or whether God created them only for me, knowing that I am the best PJ- cracker ever! Well, PJ-cracker plus an Anti-Climax addict (evidently!). One PJ dedicated to those who have managed to sustain so much of my thought vomit AND are smart enough to catch the pun! This one is for you:

A well-known director made a movie called Death of The Cockroach. However, the movie became a big flop. His team, thoroughly disappointed, left him for the dismal performance of the movie and took a vow never to work with him again. But the director smirked and told his manager, “I’m making a sequel. It’ll be called ‘Death of The Cockroach 2’”. His manager left him, confirming his insanity. He didn’t lose hope and worked on the film all alone. After the movie released, to everybody’s amazement, his first movie and the sequel ran super-successfully. He called for a press conference when a journalist asked him, “Sir, just how?!” He said, “Let me call one of the viewers, a total layman, to give you the answer..” A man walked up, blushing and said, “After the second movie released, we realized that the director sir tried to deliver HIT pe HIT movies!” (For all those who haven’t grasped it yet, look at the names of the movies and read again, and and, polish your wit.)

A friend once told me I deserve a Nobel Prize for my service to society. It made sense. After all, who else is endowed with the inexplicable ability to crack to pieces the world’s best PJs?

Travel, chocolates, Star World sitcoms. They fall under my “Brush-my-teeth” category. I’m married to Chandler Bing (in the parallel universe), which is why I have the worst jaw ache ever, laughing perennially at his untimely jokes. Roger Federer is my Godfather (Parallel universe, again!) who has taught me equanimity. The Goa Beaches are my Shoe-Lace-Untiers. I go all the way to Goa to untie my shoe laces. All I need to do is go and stand at the shore. The waves do their job, unpaid, nevertheless.

That’s that about my life. Life is a mammoth and I want to look at the big picture. Past and future, in your face! Present is my present.. I shall go grab a cookie now..